newbuzz...The fallout of divorce is far reaching and often unrecognized. It touches the spouses, the children, the friends, the rest of the family, the school, the church, and even the pets. No one is left without a lasting memory of the unraveling of the marriage. In many cases, the divorce is for the good of the family. But in the worst cases it is merely a continuation of the strife that developed in the relationship between the spouses in the first place. I have seen my share of troubled marriages, some that ended in divorce and others that were maintained. What I know for sure is that whether spouses decide to stay in the marriage, or leave the marriage, they will have to work hard at being happy. Life on earth is hard; it takes some effort to be happy whether married, divorced, widowed, or single. If you simply believe that walking out of a marriage will make your life better, you will be sorely disappointed. Until you do the hard work of changing that within yourself which allowed you to participate in an unhappy relationship, it will reappear again and again. After many years of marriage, I have learned that when I look at my husband with dissatisfaction, it is a good indicator that I am feeling a void in myself. Much like when I get a haircut to feel better, but what I really need is to lose ten pounds so my clothes will fit me. When I am in this frame of mind, my energy is best spent filling the void inside myself in a meaningful way. Then when I feel powerful and whole, I am apt to be more tolerant of his foibles and more satisfied with the marriage. I believe that divorce can be good for individuals, but only when they work to learn and understand how they are interacting with others. Since everyone will be touched by the drama of divorce, it is important for both spouses to find peace and happiness within themselves before they begin new relationships.