Taking Nexting to the Next Level

newbuzz...Some people just breeze through life without a worry about what will happen next (ie 'nexting'). They take life as it comes without looking for hidden meanings or trying to plan ahead.  That is not me.  I want to know what is next, so I put a great deal of energy into decision making.  Sometimes, I will postpone making a decision, or even avoid change altogether when I am uncertain of the outcome. I suppose that is a good strategy for some things, especially where the risk of loss is great. But I have come to recognize a certain kind of nexting that is based entirely in fear, and that is a strategy I want to live without.

I have always thought of myself as a positive, "glass half-full" person. Why then, do I think the unknown could be so wrought with peril that I am unable to make a change or come to a difficult decision? Upon reflection, I realize that being positive is more than having a smile on my face and seeing the best in others.  Positive thinking springs from self confidence.  Negative thinking feeds on feelings of powerlessness.  That is why I am more comfortable with familiar situations. Even the familiar situations that are not very good are less stressful than contemplating something new and unknown.

But uncertainty does not necessarily mean powerless, and even powerless is not necessarily bad. The common theme in my nexting is that the unknown will always lead to something less than, or worse than what I have today. I want to change this kind of thinking because it makes me miss opportunities that could be wonderful. If I must be a nexter, as I fear I must, then I want to take my nexting to the next level!

When I am tempted to worry about what is next, I will stop, think, and re-frame. First I must stop the negative thinking. No negative self talk, not any, at all, ever. Second, I will think about all the great outcomes I have experienced after making uncertain changes. (This includes the decisions I have made and the times I have been pushed into change). Finally, I will re-frame my thoughts so that I can embrace the unknown with enthusiasm and excitement.

Since I cannot banish all the words that connote mishap and mayhem from my active thinking, I will set to work on changing the connotations.  For every negative, undermining meaning behind the word, I will pause and create a better, more positive, confidence boosting, self affirming feeling.

Perhaps all this next level nexting sets me further apart from the life breezers who never have to plan ahead. But I am working with what I have, and who said their way was better anyway?