newbuzz...I have watched another season of The Biggest Loser. This is a TV reality game show where several overweight men and women are assembled and pitted against one another in an effort to lose weight. Each week, one or two contestants are sent home by their peers based on their amount of weight lost and whether or not they are a threat to other players. In the end, there is one winner; the one who loses the highest percentage of total body weight. The winner gets a cash prize of $250,000.00 and the chance to earn money doing product endorsements and becoming a spokesperson for the show. Each year, the contestants have become larger and the weight losses more dramatic. Now contestants are disappointed when they lose less than ten pounds per week. The two weight loss coaches from the show have become very popular outside of the show and now endorse many products associated with health and wellness. I have two opinions of this show and the weight loss movement it has sparked. Since I am overweight and under active, I know the benefits I would reap by changing my unhealthy habits. With that in mind, I cannot condemn a show that promotes healthy weight through healthy eating and exercise. However, I also realize that the show sets unrealistic standards that most people cannot attain without the aid of a television trainer. With this in mind, I am afraid that this show makes it easy for our culture to continue in the harsh treatment of overweight people in mainstream society. The idea is that these fat people are "less than" their thin counterparts. Once they lose weight, they are not only healthy, they are happy and beautiful, and more worthy. But is is not the fat that is to blame for ill health, unhappiness, or an unsightly appearance. Rather, it is the moral fiber of the individual. Over and over we watch as these obese actors from real life are broken down until they reveal their deepest secrets, which must then be obliterated by force of will and by making a choice to overcome them. Once purged of their shame, these second class citizens are transformed into beautiful swans, worthy of a place in modern society. I recognize a grain of truth here, but I am disconcerted by the disdain we are lulled into feeling for the original forms of the contestants. They are people after all, whether fat or thin. But we do not like them until they have made the choice to be thin. We watch their struggles, knowing that until they give in, until they break down, until they reveal their deepest sorrows, they are "less than" the rest of us. Weight loss and weight control are complicated issues in America today, and shows like this feed the need to criticize others so that we can feel better about our own imperfections. So we walk around measuring our worth by our looks, our weight, and who we feel "better than". I am aware of the absurdity of this kind of thinking, yet I cannot deny my own desire for perfect health, weight, and beauty. No doubt we would benefit from a follow up with these contestants a couple years after their big weight loss transformations. I would like to hear what they have to say about their happiness, both before, and after the weight loss. I would like to know if their happiness is measured in inches and pounds and whether or not it is an internal measurement, or one that society has imposed upon them.

newbuzz...There are some things you expect to happen when you lose your job. Things like losing your insurance, loss of, or decrease in income. You know you will feel sad, uncertain, even angry at times. My husband and I have experienced all of these as we have both lost our jobs due to economic lay offs. But, there has been a silver lining in this gray cloud too. Now we have a better awareness of our finances and our future goals than ever before. We have always been aware of what we are doing, but in the race to get three students through college, we have been avoiding some of the hard questions that should be answered periodically. Do we need to buy this right now? Can we pay back this debt? What if we lose our jobs? Those questions are pushed to the forefront when you are facing the extreme income reduction of two lost jobs in one family. We have taken off our rose colored glasses, and looked at everything with our eyes wide open. We have identified waste as well as necessity. We have come up with a strategy to work through these difficult days. We will have to go without some things we have been accustomed to, and fore go eating out, movies, and such. In exchange, we have gained a new teamwork mentality that is good for our marriage as well as our finances. We know what we can do without and what we would like to work toward for the future. We have lost our naive security, but we have gained characteristics that will buoy us through hard times and profit us in times of plenty. We know that we need to direct our own future and not leave financial decisions to chance or to others. We have hard work ahead, but we have the tools we need to dig deep and get through the rubble.

newbuzz...More great weather today. We are cleaning our house from top to bottom. It is a slow process as we have not done such a thorough cleaning in many years. I have concluded that going forward, I am going to have a yearly audit/inventory to make sure that the stuff I am keeping and storing away is still necessary. Much of what I have now belongs to the kids, and they do not have a place to store it yet. I still have some of their toys and it would be nice to get rid of them. But, then I realize that the days of grandchildren may not be too far off. After keeping the toys for the last 20 years, it seems silly to donate them now when I may need them again in a couple of years. So, I just keep shuffling boxes around in the name of organization. I am newly committed to going green. I want to leave a much smaller carbon footprint in my future than I have in my past. I am bringing new energy and effort to this old adage: Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. We must remember that the first two R's: reduce and resue are always preferrable to the last one:recycle.

newbuzz...65 degrees and sunny on November 8th in Minnesota. Now that's something to write about. We had such a cold, gloomy, snowy October that this weather is especially good for the soul. Did I mention that it is Sunday too? Everything is better when the sun is shining. People are outside riding bikes and walking their dogs. It was even warm enough to sit outside in the sunshine for a while. We cooked dinner on the grill, and entertained our grown children. Now that I have gotten used to the quiet of the empty nest, I am fully able to enjoy the visits we do have. No more pining over what used to be. No more feeling misplaced and lost. Now I appreciate the time I have to myself and the times we get together with the kids. I still play the mom card once in a while, and I suspect I always will. But now, more and more often, I am the hostess and friend. These girls have grown into such lovely young women and are so interesting. Their lives have become their own, separate from mine, and it is okay. We have all grown and changed. But we are still connected by our hearts, and by their dad's chocolate cake.

newbuzz...Looking for a job is hard work. Since it is all done online, it can take hours of combing through websites and job boards to find something to apply for. Each site requires a user name and password, so I have a notebook with pages of passwords written down so I can visit the site again. Often, when you find a job to apply for, you are directed to another site that requires another user name and password. Sometimes you find out that a "job" is really an advertisement for a school, or some other service that is for sale. Once you locate an actual job that is interesting, there are some practical questions. "What does it pay?" "Is it too far to drive?" "Do my skills match the posting?" Then, there are many things to attend to with each application; the resume, the cover letter, the email. Finally, it is the waiting that produces the most tension. "Will they call?" "Will I get an interview?" "Will I know what to say?" "What should I wear?" "Will I like them?" "Will they like me?" After five days of this, it is no wonder that I look forward to the weekends. Even though I have not stepped foot in an office, or a workplace, I have been busy nonetheless. I give myself the weekends off. I try not to worry, and to enjoy my "time off" like I did when I was working. And I do. I take the dogs for walks, visit with family and friends,and catch up on my reading. I have noticed over the last five weeks of being home that I am not in such a rush anymore. With no money to spend, I am doing more activities and seeing more people. I appreciate the small things and really enjoy being home. Though this time is difficult financially, I am starting to see it as a blessing too. Now I have the opportunity to reflect on my life without being in constant motion. I feel more tranquil, and I appreciate myself for what I have accomplished to this point. I will get back to working on the job hunt on Monday, but for the rest of the weekend, I am going to enjoy the sunshine.